Two minutes. Two minutes is all it took for this inexplicable Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger co-starring action/fantasy film to lose me. As of now, this is the nuttiest entry in the above-mentioned star’s filmography. It’s also the most absurdly incoherent disaster you’ll watch this year! A quick Google search cleared up some of the confusion, however, as this is actually a sequel to a Russian fantasy film that came out in 2014. Of course, the marketing/promotion of the movie doesn’t mention that at all. Instead, we are meant to decipher a crazy back story in the opening minutes of the movie that recap a complicated fight over a dragon whose, get this, large eyelashes can make special tea. It only gets more bizarre from there I’m afraid. It is plenty lavish though, I’ll give them that. In fact, the only thing more over-the-top than the CGI monstrosities at hand are the action scenes. The filmmakers deserve credit for keeping up an impressive brisk pacing. But, alas, it’s at the cost of slowing down for some much-needed exposition. Then there’s the humour – and not the intentional kind. The badly dubbed over dialogue and overly animated portrayals (looking at you Arnie) are pretty funny at times. It’s just too bad they aren’t meant to be. Yep, Iron Mask stands as a way overblown fantasy with major head-scratching results. In short, it’s not great…